In an effort to diffuse the intensity which encompasses the awkward stage that is living with my parents, I thought it was time for a round of conversations with mom. It’s an animal theme today.
[On childhood pets]
Mom: Richard used to have a Foo Fighter.
Me: He had a what?
Mom: A Foo Fighter. It’s a fish.
Me: No it isn’t.
Mom: Yes, a Foo Fighter fish. He had it for a project in high school. That thing lived forever.
Me: Mom, the Foo Fighters are a band. Not a fish.
Mom: I’m sure it was a Foo Fighter fish!
Me: It was a Siamese Fighting fish.
Mom: It was a Foo Fighter fish.
Me: Okay, mom, when Rich gets here, you ask him what kind of fish he had.
Mom: A Foo Fighter fish.
[Drinking tea in the kitchen. Completely random]
Mom: Do you know your dinosaurs?
Me: Do I know my dinosaurs? You ask that like I have dinosaurs.
Mom: No, that’s not what I mean. [Again] Do you know your dinosaurs?
Me: Like I know my ABCs?
Me: No. I don’t know my dinosaurs. And I didn’t know that dinosaurs were possessive.