Alternative Facebook Slogans

“Do you know his last name? Look for him on Facebook!”

That’s what I told my friend Erin last night during our phone date. Seems her financial advisor has been flirting with her through phone and email, but since he works out of a different city the two of them have never met. “He could be 50 for all I know!” she said. And since Facebook gives us such an easy vehicle to access other’s information, I suggested looking for him on this beloved social networking site. “I tried!” she said, “Can’t find him!”

Fast forward to a conversation I had later in the evening with my friend, Miss Jennifer Keith. I told her how I shouldn’t know certain information; that I only do through “research.”

“Research?” she asked. “You mean ‘stalking!'”

“Crap. Facebook has created a culture of creepers. ‘Facebook. Turning normal people into stalkers on a daily basis.’ THAT should be their new slogan,” I said.

“You should blog about that!” said Jenn.

“About how I’m creepy?”

“No, about alternative Facebook slogans.”

And then she started. And they kept coming! Most of what you are about to read are compliments of Jenn. I think they are hilarious and so true! Enjoy!


Falling in love with yourself was never so easy

Measuring your worth based on your birthday wishes.

The reason you take photos.

Inflating the ego since 2004.

Helping you make it through the work day.

Where reality becomes fantasy.

It’s not who you are, it’s who you want to be.

The reason you’re socially inept (Lord have mercy).

Where changing your image is like changing your underwear.

Voice your deepest longings through song lyrics (that’s totally me).

Where the lonely become increasingly isolated.

Compare yourself to the friends you’ve lost touch with.

The reason you’re “not finished” yet.

A place to make extravagant claims about your life with no fear of follow-up because inspirational quotations are a dime a dozen.

Become your own biggest fan.

Develop a crush in 30 seconds or less.


What about you? Have any slogans you’d like to share? It’s not hard to come up with a few!


5 thoughts on “Alternative Facebook Slogans

  1. My friend Dee calls it “stalkerbook.” So true!

    Have you seen the Facebook song by Rhett and Link? Look it up on youtube or it’s hilarious.

  2. Pingback: Thoughts on Facebook « Chapter Four

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