“I’m So Bored!”

Those are the words that I long to utter.

I’m not the type of person who fills up my life with so many activities that I have no time left to spare. I hate that feeling, and I hate how I act when life becomes that way. In fact, when I notice that my google calender is filling up fast, I get anxious and re-work my schedule so that I know I’ll have some me-time. I prefer this me-time in the morning, before the world is awake, and all I need is some freshly-brewed coffee, a journal, a pen, and my bible. I treasure this time and am easily irritated when people start talking to me and break my focus.

Anyway, back to being bored. I want to be bored because I want to be creative. In a conversation the other day I learned that creativity often stems from boredom, and the reason people lack creativity is because they’re just so busy. I’ve felt this way a lot lately. All I want to do is get my creative juices flowing once again, but I can’t. I’m stuck.

I think back to when Living with my Parents started, two years ago. I was incredibly bored! I was living out in the sticks and I had no job, and no purpose. After fighting through some resistance I channeled that boredom into writing, and have never enjoyed creating prose as much as I did in those 6 months.

But like I said, my problem isn’t that I’m too busy. My problem is that I don’t know how to rest.

Take for example two weeks ago. It was Friday night and I had no plans. All I wanted to do was come home from work and create. I pulled out some scrap booking paper, I started to print  some photos, and I gathered some old picture frames I had on hand.

And then I noticed the mess.

The absolute clutter in every corner of our apartment. The dishes stacked high. My unwashed laundry. And so I stopped creating and started cleaning. I became obsessed with cleaning and worked well into the evening, finally heading to bed around 11pm.

This happens to me a lot. I’ve forgotten how to just be and I’m constantly bombarded with the message that I must do. But then I’m never satisfied with how I’ve spent my time, and I never end the day feeling as though I’ve somehow enriched my life.

I’m just longing for some boredom (obviously without neglecting responsibilities). I want to stop, breathe, sit in silence, become utterly bored, and wildly imaginative. That’s my goal this next week.

Here’s to boredom!


2 thoughts on ““I’m So Bored!”

  1. I heard a really interesting program on CBC radio a while ago related to this, about the importance of NOT being constantly active and NOT constantly “achieving”, but instead resting, and letting your mind wander. Apparently when your mind just wanders, it’s actually more active than when you’re focused- it starts firing in all sorts of different ways in different areas that aren’t otherwise used, and scientists are starting to understand how important that is to us, to our creativity and our ability to problem-solve, and even to focus when its time for that- maybe as important to our brains as sleep is to our bodies- so they’re wondering what the cost really is of all of the things that stimulate us and draw our attention, the reminders and alarms and rings and all of the other stuff that keeps us so busy.

    It’s a good excuse to daydream, anyway.

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